House
by VioletLolitaPop
Summary: In figuring out who plays the "mommy" role, li'l Alfred and Ivan's disagreements climax to one of the greatest domestic disturbances ever to be seen in a game of House.


It has been somewhat of a fierce argument.

Though they are both the same age, Ivan is taller, therefore he feels as though he should be the dominant partner that goes to work and "brings home the bacon" as it is often said. Alfred, however, is older (Only by four months maybe, but it still counts!) and therefore _he _feels as though he shouldn't need to play the part of the homemaker.

With those reasons stated, their disagreements climax to one of the greatest domestic disturbances ever to be seen in a game of House.

However, before we delve into the fight, let us rewind back to the playground only fifteen minutes earlier, where we will find Alfred and Ivan at opposite sides of the small field and both children find themselves to be quite lonely. For Ivan, this is only usual as he is known as a loner amongst his peers and even the teachers; but for Alfred, it is something which is unfamiliar.

With Kiku absent and Arthur ignoring him for various tsundere reasons, Alfred finds himself alone and possibly being shunned by the rest of the class during their break. Instead of being his normally obnoxious self as a means to gather attention, he spies Ivan sitting alone against the classroom wall and decides that it is the perfect time to befriend the outsider and makes his way towards him.

"Hey," Alfred greets as soon as he is in front of the other child.

Ivan looks up at him slowly and then shifts his eyes around as though looking for another person Alfred may be addressing. When no one else is to be found, he replies with a quiet, "Hi."

"What're you doing by yourself?" Alfred asks.

"I'm sitting down."

"Yeah, but why?"

"Just because," Ivan shrugs.

"That sounds like it's boring."

"It's okay."

"Dontcha wanna play with everyone?"

Ivan shakes his head in the negative.

"Why not?" Alfred continues to question.

"No one likes me, so they don't play with me."

"I like you."

Ivan's eyes widen all the while looking at Alfred as though he couldn't believe what the small blonde was telling him. "Really?"

"Yeah! So let's go play!"

Even with the invitation, Ivan looks out onto the playground and still feels apprehensive on playing amongst the other children, with or without Alfred accompanying him. In a rare moment of being able to understand the situation, Alfred grabs at Ivan's hand and drags him into a standing position.

"If you don't wanna play out here," he said, "we can play inside."

"Can we do that?"

Alfred shrugs. "I dunno, but we can try it."

Unconcerned with what the teachers may say to them, Alfred leads Ivan back into the deserted classroom where they search for a way to amuse themselves. It's Alfred's idea to play within the small house in the corner of the room so that if a teacher does walk in, they won't be seen.

Rather one of those plastic houses found at toy stores that are cramped and inaccessible to anyone over the age of ten, the house their classroom is equipped with is custom built into the corner walls. Inside is furnished with a small kitchen area, plastic dining table and a toy crib with a small plastic baby, along other everyday household items.

The two boys bring in coloring books, crayons, and small tubs of play-doh to keep themselves entertained for the remainder of their lunch break. With these, it seems as though nothing out of the ordinary should happen between the two, yet somewhere along the line (most likely when Alfred has begun to shape the play-doh into food and pretend to cook while Ivan acted like a businessman with the coloring book and both made comments on not wanting to wake up the baby) their simple playtime together turns into a game of House. Once they become aware of that much, the argument begins.

"Since your cooking and stuff," says Ivan, "I guess that makes me the daddy."

"Nuh uh, because I'm a boy and I have to be the daddy."

"I'm a boy too, and I'm taller, so I get to go to work and that makes me the daddy."

"Not only tall people get to work, they work because they're old. When's your birthday?"

"In December."

"Well, my birthday's in July and that makes me older and that makes me the daddy."

"But I'm taller and there's no mommies that are taller than daddies."

Alfred all but tears the apron away from himself and throws it to the floor. "I'm still not gonna be the mommy. You do it!"

"No! You were cooking and stuff, you're the mommy!"

"If you keep saying that, I'm not gonna make you any dinner!"

"That's a really mommy thing to say… mommy."

In little less than a second later, Ivan finds himself with his back to the floor and Alfred on top of him, trying with all his might to force play-doh hamburgers into his mouth. As for retaliation, Ivan grabs at Alfred's waist and rolls them over, knocking the plastic table onto it's side and sends it crashing into the toy crib. The crib itself topples, and the small doll falls to the floor, making an audible thud that stops their fight.

"Now look what you did," Alfred scolds. "You killed the baby."

"The baby's not dead," Ivan replies. "And you killed him when you tried to kill me."

"It's a girl," Alfred clarifies. "Now get off!"

Alfred tries to push Ivan off of him, but the other boy wouldn't budge. His eyes flicker back up to the boy towering over him, and before he can even begin to complain about how the other refuses to comply in letting him up, Ivan bends forward and plants a small peck on his lips. The feel of the other's lips against his own sends his hands in a flurry of batting Ivan away.

"What are you doing?" Alfred splutters and turns red.

"My daddy always gives my mommy a kiss after they fight," Ivan explains with a shrug. "To make things okay, I think."

"But I'm not the mommy."

"But I'm not the mommy too."

Alfred huffs out a large sigh and turns his head away (his cheeks still flushed a bright red). A moment later he mutters out, "Then we'll just both have to be daddies."

The statement throws Ivan into a bit of a confused state where he's pliable enough for Alfred to wriggle out from under him. Once they're sat side by side of each other, their serious discussion begins.

"Can there be two daddies in House?" Ivan asks.

Alfred merely shrugs. "The girls play with two mommies, so I think we can play with two daddies."

"I don't know…" Ivan trails off as he watches Alfred lean over and pick up the small doll.

"Well, I'm not a girl," Alfred asserts. "So I can't be a mommy anyway. We're gonna have to be two daddies."

"But someone has to take care of the baby and someone has to go to work. And that means that someone has to be the mommy and a daddy at the same time."

"Okay, so you're taller, you can do that."

"But you're older, so you do that." Ivan giggles at the face Alfred makes when he isn't able to think of an argument logical enough. "Besides, the one that goes to work is the one that kisses the one that stays home before they leave. And since I kissed you, I get to go to work."

"Not if I kiss you back!" Alfred exclaims and grabs at the front of Ivan's shirt, bringing him forward and crashes their lips together. He pulls them apart with a loud smack and a bright grin. "Now I get to go to work."

Ivan recovers quickly and does the same, bringing their faces together once more and dodges before Alfred can try to have the last kiss. They both scramble to their feet and begin a chasing game inside the small play area where they try to catch one another and kiss the other in hopes of being the dominant father. So engrossed are they in their own game that they hardly realize that recess has ended, missing the class bell completely and only able to distinguish such when the loud noises of children entering the classroom break into their private sanctuary.

The two share a look, both telling each other that their game must end with the result of Alfred having the last kiss and therefore being the working father the next time they play. Ivan looks away with a frown while Alfred beams happily and follows the taller boy to the small doorway leading back into the rest of the classroom. Before they exit though, Ivan rounds back on Alfred one last time, holds him still, and kisses him longer than any of the others they shared and backs away with a smile.

"You get to stay home with the baby next time," he laughs and runs out before Alfred can do anything else.

Alfred stays behind for a tad longer, biting down on his lower lip to keep from crying out against the injustice of the action. When he settles down and exits through the small doorway, he looks over to where Ivan is already seated on the floor in his own box made with tape smiling away and walks past him with a small frown.

He makes his way to the other side of the room to his own box next to Arthur, who looks at him as though he wants to say something but keeps his mouth shut and turns away. Alfred though, pays no mind to him and begins to stare at Ivan. Eventually the other boy feels himself being watched and glances over to where Alfred sits, spying him instantly and waves at him. Alfred snaps his head to the front of the room, unconsciously brining his fingers up to his lips and starts to flush once he becomes aware that those kisses he shared with Ivan had been his first.

Alfred casually glances back at Ivan, who is no longer paying attention to him, and begins to think that maybe it'd be perfectly all right to stay at home and take care of the baby.

**xxx**

Disclaimer: Me own Hetalia? Ya must be trippin'.

-Is this gonna be a reoccuring thing where I have Alfred in an apron? Anyway...

-There was a play house like that in my kindergarten class, it was so kewl. And there were no desks, instead the teacher made these boxes out of tape like a grid on the floor where we had to sit with our legs crossed.

-I was thinking about this for some reason the other day, which led to me thinking about my first kiss. How that led me to thinking of it with these two, the world may never know. :/

-But yeah... Oh, wow, I so just thought something totally pervereted right now. -facepalm-

-This would not leave me alone, and because I posted this before Fredka, that one is yelling at me to be finished, so I apologize to all those reading Patchwork, the new chapter's most likely not going to be finished by Sunday. OTL

-... What the eff do I label this as?


End file.
